A letter to you

Hello hello hello my people A good friend of mine called me out on my selfish act of being silent on the blog which I attributed to lack of motivation and time thereby holding out on sharing some hope and encouragement from people who have in the past benefited from this blog. So here I am, yet again back from a long hiatus and this is my long letter to you explaining my absence AGAIN (I know, forgive my inconsistency). Now this letter, though easy to write, was kind of incredibly hard to release and I’m hoping it will all make sense.

At the start of the year I had laid out a few plans for the blog and some other personal projects and it all seemed awesome and was coming together quite nicely in my head but then I went through a really tough time shortly after, and I would like to be transparent with you about how that has affected me so far and I guess this blog. I honestly don’t want to go into details about what exactly happened (still working on my transparency there 😂), but I was in a really low place where I would cry myself to sleep some nights and it really just changed things for me physically, emotionally and spiritually. And this was difficult for me because before then I had always had incredible faith in God and such strong confidence even when things were not smooth or great but this time, all that seemed to fail and I was very broken. And to an extent, I was disappointed in myself for letting anything affect my walk with God and assumed the world would be too.

I tried to pray, study the word, encourage myself but none of it happened but somehow through all of it I was able to encourage others and still share the word. But guess what, I began to feel like a hypocrite because contrary to the saying ‘You can’t give what you don’t have’, I was comfortable encouraging others but could not do it for myself. I would pray for others and not be able to pray for myself and I slowly began to feel empty and dry and lost interest in things that previously uplifted me, sadly including worship. It was like I constantly spoke uplifting words but could not hear them myself.

My struggle was compounded by the fact that I just couldn’t bring myself to ask for help because it’s not something I’m used to. Before I go on, I would like to quickly say that the said problem was solved a long time ago, so that’s fine now. Yeah back to my, shall I say confession, this brief moment of a ‘life struggle’ made such a huge impact on my life that it took a while to get myself back and I was going to put off writing till I felt completely ‘me’ again, which is hilarious because that’s not really a thing, I just got comfortable.

I have always known but am currently reminding myself that we all encounter issues of different calibres but we can not let these things move our faith in God. Every problem has a solution and every storm will surely pass. But our reaction to trials will determine how long we spend healing and recovering. It is too easy to become enveloped in pain or worry, but it is easier to surrender to the one who knows it all and sees it all.  God is God through everything. And God is GOOOOOOD through everything because He has given us the best gift of salvation and eternal life through love and nothing can take that away.

Now, I don’t know if I am the only one who has had such a struggle but I want to encourage someone today to take a bold step out of that low place of shame or disappointment or pain or anger. You are strong, you are able, you just have to keep trusting God and let His Spirit guide you. When your confusion increases, let your assurance in Christ be your refuge.

So my blog family, as I usually end my posts with a prayer, I would like to honestly ask that you all pray for me and I hope to be seeing you here more often. And for you, I pray that you will never lose sight of God’s love in your life, that the struggles and issues of life will never overwhelm you and you will continue to bask in the joy that you have in Christ.

I love you all and truly appreciate the love and support. XX